My name is Bianca Monique Dawkins. I am almost 30 years old. I survived Domestic Violence. Not once, but twice. I am a mother of two who loves being in nature and working on ways to better myself. Growing up, I experienced a significant amount of violence in my home that I would never forget. Experiences that has shaped my life forever, but will not define me.
The furthest I can remember, is when I was nine years old. This was the first time I seen my mom get physically hurt. My father ( who was incarcerated shortly after this incident and is still is) punched my mom in the face and broke her arm. I remember her screaming and bloody. All I could do was cry and hope my dad was able to get us. I remember us driving away and going straight to the hospital. I was lost.
As, time passed I thought that would be the first and last violent experience I would witness. Little did I know, it wasn't and I had years of trauma ahead of me.
My mothers ex-husband was worst. Night after night, fighting, screaming and fearing for my mothers life. There was one day, we got home from school and my mom and her ex-husband were fighting. Next thing I know, it escalated and a hammer was being swung. My siblings and I began crying. My mom told us to walk down the road and she would come find us. About 45 mins later, she did. She was in distress and I was just glad to see her alive.
I could go on with my stories from being ran off the road to guns pulled on my face, but I want to share the moment most important. The day we got away.
My siblings and I had just gotten out of school. Normally we would see my moms ex-husband in the car, but this time something felt different. We got in the house and my mom said " Pack one bag. Everything else could be replaced." and that's what we did. I remember grabbing my teddy bear angel, a few pieces of jewelry, some photos and my high school diploma that I just received.
We made our way to the battered women's shelter were we stayed for a little over a year.
Once we were safe, I realized it was time to figure out where we were going next. I could see the pain in my moms eyes and seen she was only in the first part of her journey. It was going to be a long road.
As the years went by, I struggled with what we had gone through.I struggled to understand what love looked like without violence. I allowed similar behaviors from my childhood to show up in my relationships, until it lead me to find myself. That is how I created ICON 612! "ICON stands for I Can Overcome Negativity." I wanted to create a resource hub for women experiencing violence, who needed a safe space and who wanted to stand in their own being. I wanted to help people see that violence is not love, just as I did!
I hope you enjoy my blog, as I explore topics focused on ending violence against women and creating safe homes where children can thrive.
As I conclude, please know that you are an ICON!